• I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!
    • Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
    • gc3
    • Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!
    • A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
    • Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?
    • I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.
    • I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I’m an American — you know, you grow.
    • You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
    • If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?george_carlin
    • Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
    • If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
    • No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.
    • http://jamesaquilone.com/101-greatest-george-carlin-quotes/

 

Advertisements