It was bound to happen. After the 2016 WikiLeaks scandal broke revealing that Debbie Shultz and others have been implicated in a conspiracy to elect Hillary Clinton and therefore disenfranchise her ground swell competitor, Bernie Sanders – various betting agencies have been swamped with cries of foul play. The long-shot nature of the self avowed Democratic Socialist’s presidential bid, as well as his numerous promises to change the binary nature of the U.S. election system have inspired many to back his campaign. He also inspired many fiscally adventurous folk to place substantial monetary bids on his actually winning his presidential run.
We managed to speak with one such individual holding a crude cardboard sign at the corner of an abandoned, nondescript shopping center down the street from your house. The sign read, “It was all a Scam! Feel the Burn!!” Trying unsuccessfully to hold back his tears, William Tompkins defiantly brandished his makeshift placard in the punishing noon day sun. “I really believed in him, you know?” the man stated emphatically. “It was always about the movement, man. The movement was real!”
And Mr Tompkins is not alone. Perhaps the strangest twist so far was the discovery of a certain former president’s attempt to apparently cash in on the potential lawsuit. After examining a public record of complaintants and their emails, a diligent reporter from FH news uncovered the email listing, firstname.lastname@example.org. When further investigation found this email associated President Bill Clinton the scandal grew even more twisted. When asked why he would be implicated in betting against his own wife’s presidential bid, the former president became frustrated and pointed at the reporter saying only, “I did not have any relations with that email, internluva… 46.”
Initially shrugged off as a distraction by top democratic leaders, the growing class-action lawsuit has been picking up steam over the last few months. Interestingly, complaintants are largely made up of independent bookies from across the nation, but the vast majority of the legal teams’ funding efforts have been shouldered by larger gambling associations such as the Nevada based Trotemout, LLC. The frustration over the backlash resulting from the Wiki Leaks documents proving corruption was apparent when we interviewed one such gambling entrepreneur.
“I’ve got to deal with these people every day. They’re saying it was all rigged and stuff and they want their money back!” said Louis Gredalpho, a Las Vegas based bookie associated with Hendelmann’s Deli on 5th Avenue.
After first being met with chuckles and shrugged shoulders, top democrats soon stopped laughing when Judge Lisa Kincade began hearing opening statements. After squashing an attempt to dismiss the case outright, Judge Kincade subsequently allowed a copious amount of the prosecuting attorney’s evidence to be admitted. To the horror of the team of democratic lawyers, it is rumored that Lisa Kincade was an avid Bernie Sanders supporter.
As of May, 2016 Bernie Sanders was posted at +1000 while Hillary’s odds to be the democratic nominee held stable at -2,500.